How long does it take you to make major decisions?

I’ve been contemplating whether or not to blog about this but I figured since this is who I am, I may as well.

Believe it or not, that’s the major decision — whether to post about it — not what I’m about to post 😉

I have decided, after two years of discussions with my health care providers, to have bariatric surgery.  I fought it vehemently the first time it was suggested — two years ago.  I don’t know if it was because I didn’t feel 100% comfortable with my primary care provider (PCP), or if I was in denial, but I said absolutely not.

Last year, I got  a new PCP.  She was very close to my age, from the south, and we talked for almost 1/2 an hour before we got to do the business of my annual well-woman visit.  I was thrilled to find out she had just gotten here about a month before so I knew she’d be around awhile.  I’m one of those people who just dumps every little thing that’s been bothering me into my annual exam.  I don’t know if it’s a military family member thing or not, but it’s just darn inconvenient to get a doctor appointment so I feel like if I’m not in major pain, I can just hang on until it’s time for my annual exam.  One of the things we talked about was my weight, and my blood pressure.  I really detest taking the pills and talked to her about what I needed to do to get off them.  She was the first person who ever explained to me, in terms I could understand, exactly WHY I was taking them!!!  This was when she mentioned having bariatric surgery and I balked.  I think she might have ‘gotten me’ because she talked to me about the different methods and asked me to seriously consider it over the next year and talk to her again at the next annual exam.   I saw her a couple of times during the year following that exam, and she remembered me, but never brought it up again.

Then this year, right before I was scheduled to have my physical, I got an UTI — and a new male PCP — who I didn’t like.  I knew the other person was still around, so while I was at the appointment for my UTI I asked the Dr. to schedule me for lab work and my mammogram so I could have the results back when I wanted my annual physical to take place.  Since I knew the other woman was still around I hit the check in desk before I left and asked if I could schedule an appointment with her after my lab work was scheduled back.

When I got to my exam, before we started the actual physical part, we talked.  She pulled up my lab work and told me my cholesterol and triglycerides were excellent (ha ha Kahuna!!) but my blood sugar levels had started to rise.  I knew this was going to be the case, because I can feel it.  She asked me if I had done the research she had suggested last year and because my blood pressure isn’t changing, and because my blood sugar is going up, she scheduled me for a consult.

When I got to that hospital I was thoroughly taken back by the way I was treated.  Most of the time over the past 29 years I’ve felt like I was on a conveyor belt in a factory when it came to dealing with the hospital and appointments.  This was not the case here.  The only other time I’ve been treated so respectfully was when I was seeing the doctor about my hysterectomy.  Maybe it has something to do with the specialty clinics, but other areas of the hospital really need to take note of it.  Not once did I feel any humiliation, embarrassment, etc., during my appointment.  Face it, going to the doctor can be a real humiliating experience, no matter what your reason for being there.

This was two months ago.  Since then I’ve been poked and prodded in new ways.  I’ve had more Dr. appointments in the past month than I’ve had in a year.  I’ve even had more appointments than I had when I was ‘gearing up’ for my hysterectomy.  I have many more appointments ahead.  The approval process for surgery through the military hospitals is more stringent since it is an elective surgery.  The military just doesn’t ‘do’ elective surgery.  Because I have been approved, it one more sign to me that this is a wise decision on my part.

What are my hopes for this?  Do I want to be a beauty queen?  Nope.  I don’t want my family to have to take care of me because of some weight related health issue.  It scares me that I could go full-blown diabetic.  I don’t want to lose the ability to see.

What are my fears?  I really only have two…that I will fail, or that I will lose too fast. 

Because of the amount of weight I need to lose, and my current healthy state (ha!) I am able to pick which of the three surgeries available most appeal to me.  Because of my fear of losing too fast, I am leaning more toward the laparoscopic banding than the Roux-en-Y gastric bypass or Sleeve gastrectomy.  Of the other two the Rowx-en Y scares me less.

I won’t go into what other appointments I’ve already been to, but Monday marks the day when I have to start making some more major changes in my eating/activity lifestyle.   I’m thinking my surgery will probably be in February.  I am scared to death!