More than I care to remember, actually. I would love to rewind back to April and have a do-over, thankyouverymuch!
Work was unbelievably busy and stressful. I had a vacation to prepare for and my co-worker was getting ready to go out on maternity leave. We had 5 trials scheduled between my last post and September! Fortuntely, 2 of them settled leaving us with a lot of time between the first one and the last 2 (which are related).
About a month after my last post (May 20th), I was in a car accident on my way to work. The woman was looking down because she allegedly dropped her drink. She was headed onto the base for work (I was headed off the base) and crossed over two lanes of traffic. Fortunately, I saw her coming from quite a distance off and was able to keep her from hitting me head on. Unfortunately, she never slowed down and T-boned me on the drivers’ side hard enough to me back 180 in the opposite direction I was heading. She was driving a Chevy Aveo – I was driving a Nissan 370Z. 3 airbags went off and lots of scarey things followed including an 8-hour lay-up in the ER; CT scan because they thought my carotid had been injured (my neck was so swollen the EMT guys couldn’t get a collar on me); a chest xray to make sure my heart had not been damaged; muscle relaxers; pain killers; burned wrist (from the airbag chemicals); many tears; a scared Marine; and I’m doing physical therapy for my neck (that keeps locking up on me at the oddest times). I’ve really been scared about that locking up part because it affects my ability to stitch or read for long periods of time.
Then I got to deal with the insurance company. By the time they got through with me they totaled my sweet, sweet car that can never be replaced and I called the adjuster a “butthead.” Now before you say “at least you’re okay,” let me warn you, I AM NOT! My car is gone. It was important to me. It was a gift from M for my 50th birthday. It was yellow. It was ONLY made that one year. I CANNOT REPLACE IT. I am VERY tired of defending my feelings. I know it’s a car, but it was mine. I have felt through this whole ordeal that I have been punished for being in the wrong place during a stupid person’s stupid decision. I very much wish that my grace had snapped and I was not locked inside my car unable to get out so I could have beat the living shit out of her. So, you’ve been warned.
But back to Butthead Bill. It was such a battle. We had to prove to him every thing about the car. He was the most ignorant person I’ve dealt with in a very long time and I would have loved dealing with him on a daily basis face to face. He, on the other hand, is probably glad he only had to speak with me on the phone. After a while it got to be too much for me and M talked to him. After he cut the check for my car, he told me that it had been totaled because of the length of time it would take to get the seat cover replaced from that particular airbag deploying. I went from Southern Belle to Redneck in 1.2 nanoseconds and lit into him on the phone. When I went to get my stuff out of the car it took everything I had not to drop to my knees and cry. Once they decided to total her they had mistreated her horribly. She had black grease smeared into her lovely suede seats, what they had cut off her, or pulled out of her, had been shoved into the back willy-nilly, and my 6 CDs in the changer had been stolen. (The repair guy was not happy about the totalling either. He knows he could have repaired the car.)
Every time I’ve talked to him on the phone he ends his calls with “can I do anything else for you?” and it’s the hardest thing in the world for me not to come back with something like “eat sh!t and die” or “drop dead.” Sigh.
We’re still dealing with them or they’d be fired. I have told him that he is fired the second this is over and I’ve already started my ‘strongly worded’ letter to the corporate office and to WHY they are being fired.
I won’t even get into the fiasco over the rental, but I’m ticked off about that as well. And please do not get me started on dealing with the other liability adjuster who couldn’t find her butt with either of her hands. ’nuff said!
Buying a new vehicle was also a crying moment. I’m now driving a “practical” RAV4 and I hate it. Okay, hate is too strong, but I don’t like it at all but M is happy as can be.
One Saturday I left the house at 9:00 a.m. and drove every cross-over vehicle within San Diego county…or at least that’s how I felt by the time I got home that night. I was sort of OK with a couple of them and could actually see myself driving one of them – not the one we ended up with.
The next week I asked M to please drive the ones we liked the most (there were 3) before making a final decision. Every time anyone asked me what I wanted in a car the first thing I said was “blue tooth in the steering wheel” and I told them it was because it made me feel safe having it there. Everything else would be icing. Guess what was the ONLY thing that wasn’t in the RAV. Go ahead. I’ll even give you 2 chances. Here’s another game for you. Guess who didn’t drive any of the other vehicles WE had talked about before deciding to buy the RAV??? For the first time in our marriage he totally surprised me.
About a week after he bought it he took it over to the dealership to have bluetooth installed. There are these blanks in the dash were after-market buttons can be placed. Those idiot men put the bluetooth “answering” button on the dash, near the bottom of the console BEHIND WHERE YOUR DRINKS SIT IN THE CUPHOLDERS instead of to the left of the steering column where you only have to stretch out your arm to push a button.
We’ve had it for more than a month and M has given up asking me if I’m going to sinc my phone. I refuse.
The new car is another “punishment.” Irrational as it may seem, that’s how I feel. Steamrolled over. While sitting there signing the loan documents I so very badly wanted to just say “no.” I’m so mad at myself that I didn’t. I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually but for now I’m still mad. He knows how unhappy I am with it and says he’ll be buying me a new car about this time next year. We’ll see. Right now I just.don’t.care.
I’m suing the other driver 🙂 With glee, actually. I am not a control freak but I like having control over my life. I like making my own decisions. During this whole fiasco I feel like I have had absolutly NO say in anything or any control over what is currently happening or affecting my future. But! I had control in suing her and while I know I’m military and my medical is free there is no way on God’s green earth I’m going to let her get away without reimbursing the United State Department of the Navy for my medical expenses.
I had no idea what her name was or who her insurance company was. The police and firefighters purposefully kept us separated at the scene so I didn’t get any info from her and because I never heard from her I assume she didn’t get any on me either. Once the police report arrived I mailed a letter to her from the attorney I work for. Her husband called the office, very unhappy, wanting to know why we didn’t mail it to her insurance company. I know I could have looked up the address, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to mail it to her. Make her have to do some work.
Her agent called and said he was leaving town and wanted an iRep letter to start the file. He was sorry he couldn’t remember our client’s name (I furnished it) and then I told him the attorney handling the case was out of the office until the next week. Would he accept a letter with her signature “stamp.” Of course! No problem….ummm who am I speaking to? Dead silence on the other end of the phone when I said my name. They are not allowed to speak to someone who’s represented! Insert evil cackle here.
So, I’m still dealing with physical therapy, but that’ll probably be over at the end of August.
If anything good can come out of my accident it’s that during the CT scan they found lumps on my thyroid. I’ve had a couple of follow-ups (ultrasound, too). I will be scheduling another followup in August. I have family history so I’ve always asked to have the bloodwork every year during my annuals. It doesn’t come as a great surprise, but is very aggravating.
I sometimes look up to see if there’s this little black cloud following me around. I fight getting depressed over this and the feeling that everyone is ganging up on me or could care less how I feel about anything and for the first time in my life I can honestly say I hate someone. I working on that, too.
Son and I went to Louisiana July 14th. It’s been 8+ years since I’ve been home. It may take me 8 years to talk myself into going back. It is unbelievable to me how narrow and small minded people can keep themselves. I am so very happy to have met my four youngest nephews who range from 3 to 8 years old. I’m also glad to have visited with the other relatives, but gosh I’m so very glad I “got out” when I did. Hateful sounding, isn’t it.
There are some other issues I dealt with, including telling my mother how hurt I have felt for the past 10 years that she has never been out to visit us. I told her that we gave up asking because it hurt too much to continually be told no. When she asked me if it would be another 8 years before she saw me again I told her once I got settled in Arizona I would invite her out and if she declined I would not be asking her again. I told her that the next trip I expect either M or I to make to Lousiana was when his 93 year old grandmother dies and then it might just be M and son. It was one of the hardest conversations I’ve ever had with her, and I was crying by the time I finished my say, but it needed to be said.
They get me so wound up and M is gets so unhappy with my “attitude” after I’ve been around them. I need to protect myself, and my relationship with my husband, more than I need to be around them. I do miss my sister, L, though, so very much.
I got to meet up with my very best friend during high school. We couldn’t believe it had been 34 years since we had last seen each other. We had breakfast the day before I left. I think we could have talked for hours and hours. To me it felt like it had been such a short time since we’d seen each other! She’s a stitcher, too!
As of today I am 65 days away from MY retirement! M and I are soon headed back to Arizona to buy our forever home. He told me when we first picked our house hunting date that he did not expect me to return to work after that but because of the 2 trials we have, and my co-worker being out on maternity leave, I could not leave the attorney I work for high and dry. I will have 4 full-time days to get ready for trial after my trip, then I’ll be working 1/2 days only until September 30. I*CANNOT*WAIT!!!
I won’t get into how M is planning on finishing out his Marine Corps days right now because it gives me a headache trying to figure it out! LOL There is house hunting leave and use or lose vacation leave involved that will be spread over the next 5 months.
I’m camera shopping! I want an ‘enthusiast’ type camera so I can take some action shots of M when he’s racing, the puppies playing (or sleeping! LOL), etc. There are so many out there!
I’ve stitched a bit since my last post. Not as much as I wanted to, but quite a bit. I have been working on a patriotic design that I should have finished a long time ago but I can’t sit for long periods because of my neck and I’ve been either too tired to stitch, or busy with other things, these past 3-4 weeks. We are trying to get some “must do” things marked off our list before we move away. In fact, I think we’re going to the Wild Animal Park this weekend.
My calendar is full and I know it will make the time fly by! I have a stitch-together at the LNS on August 13; a special beach retreat with Darla and Melissa the weekend of August 19; our Arizona trip August 27 – September 5; I may get to attend another stitch-together on September 10; M has a race on September 11; my last day of work is September 30; and we’re hoping I’ll be moving to Arizona permanentsly October 15th or so. Sometime in all that I need to get to Disneyland 2 times (I have the tickets already paid for!). After that I’ll take a breath and reassess.
So, there you have it. I’ll try to not let it be as long between posts.